Hunters In Wonderland
by stormy003
Summary: "Once upon a time..." I began. "Are you doing that again? Just summarize it already!" Killua urged. "Fine..." A parody of Alice In Wonderland with the Hunter X Hunter crew! Who's Alice? Not telling! "How about the Mad Hatter? Of course not! White Rabbit or Queen of Hearts? Read to find out! I, narrator of this story, will tell you the story of this adventure. Kiyoko is added! R&R!
1. Prologue

'Once upon a time..' Stormy(Blizz) began.

"What are you saying? Isn't that a starting phrase for princess stories?" Killua asked. "I thought you said it was going to be a regular story, fairy tale based.."

'Yes, yes, but it's also a starting phrase of a fairy tale,' the writer countered. 'And it is going to be fairy tale based. I never said that the story was going to change.'

"Oh, okay," the boy replied.

'Now, where was I... Ah, right! Once upon a time... The-'

The author was cut off once again by another boy dressed in green.

"Ne, ne! Izzy-san-" Gon started only to get cut off by the author.

'Call me Stormy or Blizz! What is it, Gon-kun?' Stormy(Blizz) asked.

"Aha, gomen! What is this story going to be about?" the boy apologized.

'... Really now? Okay, if I can jus-'

And again. Cut off.

"Is there romance in it?" Killua piped in.

'Well..'

Once more.

"How about humor?" Gon added.

'Actually-'

Again, cut off by one of the energetic children younger than her by a few.

"Gon, you know Izzy- I mean Stormy-san(Blizz-san) has a really bad sense of humor," Killua stated, smirking at the author.

'Hey, that hurts you know! I know I'm bad with jokes and puns, but don't point it out like that! And I'm not that old!' the author exclaimed, tears pricking at the side of their eyes.

"Ah- Oi! Don't cry! I was just kidding!" the silver haired child said frantically.

'Fine. If that's how it is, LEAVE ME BE!' Stormy(Blizz) exclaimed, wiping at their eyes and looking away.

"I SAID I'M SORRY!" Killua panicked, waving his hands all over the place.

'Ughhh fine.. Apology accepted.. Now where are the others? Did you tell them to come?'

"Ah, I forgot to," Gon replied sheepishly.

'What?! Gon-kun you... BAKAAAAA!' Stormy(Blizz) hollered, frowning at the two.

"It's okay! It's covered, don't worry. Kurapika, Leorio, and Kiyoko are coming right now," Killua said, leaning on the author's head.

"Oi! Is that you, Gon, Killua?" a voice called.

'Right on cue...'

"Yep, over here!" Gon exclaimed, waving his arms above his head.

"Hey, guys! Ah! Izzy- ... Do you prefer -chan or -kun?" Leorio asked, grinning awkwardly.

'Pervert,' Kurapika and Killua muttered in unison.

"Haa? How so?"

The three began to bicker with each other, shooting out insults and reasons loudly. Gon stared at the group and smiled curiously, turning to the older girl for answer.

"Kiyoko, what's a pervert?"

The girl chuckled and shook her head, resting a hand on his shoulder softly.

"You'll know someday.." the girl replied.

'Too innocent for this... Can I dirty his mind?' Kuromi asked spiritually.

'No! Of course not!' Kiyoko exclaimed.

'Man... this isn't going as planned.. Okay, Leorio-san-' Stormy(Blizz) muttered tiredly.

"Leorio. Just Leorio is fine," the man offered.

'Right... Call me Stormy or Blizz and not Izzy until I allow it. Also, either -kun or -chan is fine with me,' the author told the man.

"Alrighty, Izz- Stormy-chan(Blizz-chan)!" the man said, blushing like a creep.

'Jeez... Anyways, since we're all here, let's start over. Once upon a time, there was a you-'

Again with the run-on cut offs.

"Is this a princess story? You did just say 'once upon a time,'" Kurapika asked out of nowhere.

Deja Vu. The boy technically asked the same question Killua asked before he came.

'No! Now can I get through this introduction without getting interrupted?' Stormy(Blizz) asked exasperatedly.

"Of course," Kurapika said.

'Thank you. Once upon a time, there was a young girl-'

Cut off. Stormy(Blizz) sighed to herself and muttered random words, gradually getting louder and sounding more irritated than ever.

"A girl? Who?" Leorio asked excitedly.

'Dear Lor-'

"OH, SO IT IS A ROMANTIC PRINCESS STO-"

Killua was now the one who got cut off by the young author.

'YOU KNOW WHAT? ONCE UPON A DAMN TIME, THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL NAMED ALICE. NO, LET'S SWITCH EVERYTHING UP, A YOUNG GIRL NAMED KURAPIKA,' Stormy(Blizz) said, speeding through every word they said.

"WAIT, WHAT? COME AGAIN?" the boy exclaimed. "MY GENDER IS BEING DEMEANED TO FEMALE AGAIN!"

'OKAY, OKAY, LEORIO.'

An awkward silence befell between the group after the switch up with names.

"..."

'... Actually, let's change it back to Kurapika-kun,' the author said, slapping their arm awkwardly.

"Agreed," everyone said, nodding at the author while Kurapika's jaw dropped.

"I'M MALE! A GUY!"

'SUCK IT UP, KURA-KUN! ANYWAYS, KURAPIKA WAS SITTING DOWN BY THE RIVERBANK BORINGLY WITH HIS ELDER SIST- I MEAN SIBLING, STORMY(BLIZZ) BECAUSE I'M TELLING THE STORY RIGHT NOW,' Stormy(Blizz) said, trying to hide their gender once again.

"CHANGE THE MAIN CHARACTER! CAN'T IT BE KIYOKO OR KUROMI?"

'DECISIONS ARE FINAL!'

"Why are you the older sister? Aren't, you you-" Killua was cut off by the author purposely once again.

'THE YOUNG AND SWEET KURAPIKA SPOTTED A FRANTIC WHITE RABBIT LOOKING AT HIS GOLDEN POCKET WATCH WITH PANIC WRITTEN ON HIS FACE. AND THAT WAS THE START OF ALIC- I MEAN KURAPIKA'S ADVENTURE IN WONDERLAND. FINALLY GOT THROUGH! LET ME CALM DOWN,' Stormy(Blizz) exclaimed, breathing a little too exhaustedly.

Kurapika was now sobbing to himself while the other boys laughed at his scarred reaction. Kiyoko gave an apologetic smile to the boy and rubbed his back soothingly to calm the Kurta down.

"So is this story based on us?" Kiyoko asked, lookng over at her creator.

'Correct!'

Kuromi took over half of Kiyoko's body.

"If you give me a damn crappy role, I'll slit your throat and enjoy myself," Kuromi threatened.

The author flinched at the negative girl's threat, face going white.

"Don't worry, Stormy-chan(Blizz-chan), I'll keep her from doing so," Kiyoko said, earning a groan from her other self.

'Why is this happening...?' Kurapika whined.

'That is why you shouldn't interrupt me like a million times. I'll humiliate you when I get the chance to,' they reasoned.

"B-but, what about the others?" the boy asked, sounding desperate.

'Patience, my good sir.'

"I'm not that mu-"

'AHHH, AH, AH, AH! NOT MY AGE. NOT. MY AGE,' Stormy(Blizz) yelled, covering up their age.

Kurapika was now trying to pry off the authors hands around his mouth, nodding as he frantically did so.

"Ne, Stormy-chan(Blizz-chan)?" Gon called.

'Nani, Gon-kun?'

The boy ran up to the author and leaned forward, faces inches away from colliding.

"What's this story called?"

'Too... close! My personal space!' Stormy(Blizz) thought, blushing at the distant of their faces.

Killua noticed the awkward tension coming from the author and ran over to the two. The boy pushed Gon's head down a little and leaned over the greenish-black haired boy.

"Yeah, what's it called?" Killua asked excitedly, making the author feel even less comfortable on purpose.

'Hmmmm... Alice- I mean Kurapika's or Kura's Adventure In Wonderland? Yeah, that sounds good,' Stormy(Blizz) thought out loud.

"NO, IT DOESN'T!" Kurapika countered.

'Okay, okay fine... Hunters In Wonderland. How about it?' the young author corrected, pushing up their glasses that slowly slipped off the bridge of their nose.

"Ah! I like the sound of it!" Gon exclaimed, popping back up and toppling Killua backwards.

"W-whoa!"

The assassin fell and landed on his bottom hard, wincing a little at the pain.

"Ow... It's okay I guess.."

"Ehhhh, I liked the first one better," Leorio said, shrugging.

Kurapika shot a glare and dashed at the man, pulling his cheek as hard and far as he could.

"I. THINK. NOT," the Kurta said, emphasizing every word.

"OW, OW, OW! OKAY, OKAY, I LIKE THIS ONE TOO!"

"Kurapika-kun, I think that's enough..." Kiyoko said awkwardly, wrapping her arms around the boy's waist and prying him off with not much force away from Leorio.

'Hehe, how adorable. Hunters In Wonderland it is then,' the author mumbled

* * *

**Stormy: There are several mentions about the real life me in here xD I'm sure you all can tell. This story is the most random thing ever planned. I just thought about it before i fell asleep which was around 3 AM. I think it's because of sleep deprivation, HAHA. Anyways, I talk like that in real life and if these characters were real, I would totally be overjoyed! So, reveal my gender or no? I mean it's already too obvious, but..**

**Gon: But, but we are real aren't we? I mean we're interacting with each other right now and the story!**

**Killua: Stormy didn't mean that. I think they meant in their world. We're basically socializing through a portal. -points-**

**Kurapika: Hmm, true but how did it get here? And I can see millions of other portals over there.**

**Leorio: I wonder what will happen when I stick my hand through...**

**Kiyoko/Kuromi: Not a good idea, bro/Leorio-san.**

**Leorio: -does it anyways and hand disappear in the portal-**

**Stormy: Ah. It just disappeared.**

**Leorio: -retracts hand back- Okay, that scares me.**

**Yuna: Are you talking to someone in the other world, Stormy?**

**Stormy: -turns behind her to the adjacent portal- Yep! Yuna, Tasuku is looking for you. Gao wants a buddyfight.**

**Yuna: Oh fine.. -leaves-**

**HunterXHunter Characters: -stares with disbelief-**

**Kiyoko: ... Well then... There is a poll on Stormy's profile and we hope you check it out and vote!**

**Leorio: Question! What or who are you dressed as for Halloween? Review or PM your answer!**

**Stormy: Anyways, enjoy the 'prologue' of this parody of Alice In Wonderland and please read and review! HAVE A GREAT HALLOWEEN AND GET LOTS OF CANDIES! HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! I have a Vampire Tasuku drawing on my deviantart account so you can check that out too on deviantart(imboredom) or instagram(izzy_chan_)! BYE! Hey, you guys too!**

**Everyone else: H- Happy Halloween.. Bye..**

_**~stormy003**_


	2. Down The Rabbit Hole

'Okay, Kurapika. Get out here and show us how lovely you look in that blue and white dress!' Stormy(Blizz) exclaimed.

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" the boy retorted.

"We can't start the story like this, so hurry up!" Leorio told the boy.

'Kura-kun, just get out here, please? I'm in a dress myself and I normally don't wear skirts or dresses,' the author sighed exasperatedly.

"BUT- BUT YOU'RE A GIRL!"

'Does that mean anything?'

"YES, IT DOES! You ladies normally wear these types of clothes!"

'But me. Anyways, view it as if it's your clan's tribal clothes. It already looks like you're wearing a skirt every day,' Stormy(Blizz) snickered. 'I'm sorry, it's true.'

Sobbing could be heard where the teen was hiding, making everyone sweat drop.

"I'll drag him out…" Killua volunteered.

The silver white haired boy disappeared behind the trees and bushes and pulled Kurapika out forcefully as the blonde desperately looked for objects to grab on.

"NO! NOOOOO!"

'Damn. Dramatic entrance right there….' the author muttered, earning nods from the other three.

"Alright, Stormy(Blizz). Let's get started!" Killua exclaimed, smirking deviously at Kurapika.

Kurapika was clutching at his dress embarrassingly, his face beat red.

'I hate you guys...' the boy muttered, eyes turning scarlet.

* * *

The author and Kurapika sat near a riverbank awkwardly as the boy played around with the blades of grass below him. Stormy(Blizz) stole glances at the sulking boy and shook her head disappointingly, looking back at a book in her hand.

'Young, beautiful Alice was sitting next to the riverbank with her-'

"I'M MALEEEE!" the teen interrupted.

'I know you are. You're still going to be referred to as a girl. Now, let me continue…. -With his older sister, Stormy(Blizz) one day,' Stormy(Blizz) recalled.

"Why are you the-"

'Kurapika, please,' the author grumbled.

The boy shut his mouth and pouted once again, looking back down at the green grass.

'Alice began to feel bored and drowsy as the time being spent continued to pass by… Kurapika, you better start acting now or I'll tie you up in ribbons while you're still wearing these clothes and send you to Chrollo as a birthday present or something.'

The boy's head jolted up with shock and disgust written on his face, a small frown creasing between his eyebrows.

"H-HAIIIII!" the boy exclaimed in a panic tone, getting into character.

**(Starting here the storytelling parts won't have quotations/apostrophes. Also, Kurapika will be referred as 'girl' and Alice, haha)**

"Ngghhh….." Alice groaned, signaling his disinterest in Stormy's(Blizz's) actions.

Stormy(Blizz) continued to read her book quietly as the young 'girl' next to her picked out blades of grass and continued to groan louder and louder to gain attention.

"Alice-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT OR I'M LEAVING!" Alice , or Kurapika, threatened.

"Fine… Kurapika! Please quit groaning and find something productive to do!" Stormy(Blizz) said idly.

"Well, I'm sorry, Nee-san, but I'm just really bored," the 'girl' apologized.

"Then why didn't you bring a book to read?"

Kurapika dug out a book from the bag in between his sister and himself, flashing it in front of the older sibling.

"I did, but I already finished it!"

Stormy(Blizz) slapped her forehead and shook her head at the 'girl', mumbling in a vex tone.

'This child..'

"Bring a book you WANT to read next time!"

And with that, the older sibling returned her attention to the thick brown book she held loosely in her hands. Kurapika set the book in his own hand down next to him and began to pick at the grass with not interest once again, humming a small tune to himself. The 'girl' then stood up and walked closer to the river, laying down on his stomach and dipping his hand into the water. Slowly trailing circles in the water and creating ripples, his reflection began to disappear and reveal a white rabbit strolling down the path before him.

'Hm?' the 'girl' hummed. "Ah, Killua! You're in this also?"

The white rabbit's ear twitched at his name and ignored Alice's call, continuing his stroll and humming an upbeat tune.

'Did he not hear me?' Kurapika thought.

"Killua!"

Killua; or the white rabbit I should say, kept ignoring the calls young Alice kept shooting out. He then pulled at something hanging around his right shoulder that looked like golden mail carrier bag, but was actually really a giant golden pocket watch, out in front of him to check the time. A look of shock came across the rabbit's face after seeing what time it was.

"I-I'M LATE! I'M LATE, I'M LATE, I'M LATEEEEE!" the white rabbit announced frantically.

'Late for what…?' Kurapika muttered, lowering his eyes with disinterest.

Killua suddenly made a mad dash towards a tree near the riverbank, the golden pocket watch bouncing up and down behind him.

Alice looked at the running figure in shock to see how fast the pace he was going at, giving chase after him.

"H-how does he run so fast in those dress shoes?!" the boy exclaimed. "HEY, KILLUA! WAIT UP! WHAT ARE YOU LATE FOR?"

"CALL ME THE WHITE RABBIT, GOD DAMN IT, KURAPIKA!" Killua yelled, looking behind him and twitching his fluffy white tail. "STORMY(BLIZZ)-CHAN, DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS DRESS SHIRT AND THIS VEST? IT'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO RUN IN! AND THESE PUFFY KHAKIS!"

"I'M SORRY! JUST FOR THIS ENTIRE STORY PLEASE?" the author called.

The white rabbit groaned with aggravation, tripped right after he stopped growling, and did a barrel roll once he made contact with the dirt floor.

"HOLY CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

Whoosh. There he goes. Falling into the mysterious hole underneath the tree he was pretty much heading to. Oh. It sounds like his screams are dying down. And he's fully gone.

"WAS THAT EVEN SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN?!" Kurapika exclaimed frightened by the grand exit Killua made.

"The white rabbit tripping and falling into the tree involuntarily? No. Entering the hole in the tree trunk normally? Yes. Entering it in general? Yes. So I'll accept what just happened and go with the flow," the female author said, fixing the skirt of her coral colored dress.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN THE STORY RIGHT?! TRIPPING INTO THE HOLE?" the boy yelled.

"GET BACK INTO CHARACTER AND FLOW WITH IT! MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE PART OF THE SCRIPT!"

Kurapika sighed and ran over to the tall tree, looking into the hole with an uncomfortable face expression.

'Is this even safe?! It looks like a really long drop!' Kurapika asked himself, his head inside the hole.

Stormy(Blizz) sighed at the 'girl's', or I should say her younger sister's reactions and stood up from her spot walking over to the figure clad in white and blue.

'I'm not suppose to move out of my spot or notice this, but I can't have the others making an appearance just yet..' the author thought. "Yes, it's safe. Now down you go!"

And with that, the girl pushed her younger sister, Kurapika, down the hole in the tree trunk using her right foot with a forceful shove to the buttocks.

"W-WAIT, WAIT! AHHHH!"

The young 'girl' fell down the hole. Just like the white rabbit. Well, more like forcefully pushed into the hole. Yeahhhh….

"CURSE YOU, NEE-SANNNNNNNNN!" Kurapika yelled, his voice slowly becoming tranquil.

"Have fun!" the girl's older sister yelled as he fell down the dark hole.

Stormy(Blizz) chuckled at her sister's remark and went back to where their belongings were, sitting down to continue reading her book. The girl looked over next to her and noticed that he never put on the blue frilly headband with ribbons on the side of it in his hair, sighing as she picked it up.

'Better return this to him…' Stormy(Blizz) said, standing back up and walking over to the hole in the tree once again.

The girl stopped in front of the tree, wrote a note to attach onto the hair accessory, and threw the headband into the endless-looking hole, hoping the 'girl' would receive it during his drop or once he lands.

'Baka.'

* * *

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kurapika continued to scream as he kept falling down the dark tunnel.

Distorted clocks, tables, pianos, chairs, closets, clothes, you name them all, heck even a distorted looking mirror began to appear and pass by the falling 'girl'.

"AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh…..!" the 'girl' yelled, starting to get bored with the entire drop.

The drop was still going on and the 'girl' literally stopped yelling. Alice, or Kurapika, was now just tapping his arm impatiently with a finger. Suddenly, he caught up to the white rabbit who was just casually sitting cross-legged in the air upside down, drinking tea with a straight face expression and two white cross band-aids on top of the red bump that grew on his head after his barrel roll. An upside down teapot and tray with an extra tea cup was falling along right beside him. Surprisingly, the content in the pot wasn't spilling, due to the speed they were dropping at.

"Killua? I thought you would've made it to the ground by now. Wait, how did I even catch up to you in the first place? " Kurapika asked.

"Correction. White Rabbit. I thought so too, but its taking wayyyyy longer than I thought it would," Killua replied after taking a sip of his tea. "Would you like some tea? It's Jasmine."

Kurapika looked at the distance between the two awkwardly and then nodded even though they were about five feet apart from each other. Killua set his tea cup aside from him and grabbed the extra cup and the pot, pouring a cup of freshly brewed tea for the older teen.

"Sugar?"

"No, thank you. That'll be all."

"Alright."

Killua pulled the tea cup back far and threw it at Kurapika as if it was a Frisbee disk, making it travel far enough to allowing the 'girl' to grab hold of.

Kurapika and Killua silently sipped their tea until the white rabbit decided to check his pocket watch again.

"I've been at this for about half an hour already…. And I'm sure I was supposed to be ahe-"

Killua was suddenly cut short, going poof all of a sudden and disappeared from the drop zone.

"HAAA?! K-KILLUA? WHERE'D YOU GO?!" Kurapika exclaimed.

The 'girl' tossed the tea cup aside from him and looked around frantically for the white rabbit to see no sign of him.

"THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he yelled, falling even faster than he was before if that is even possible.

Alice looked below him only to see pitch black from beneath him and began to wonder when he was going to land or if he was EVER going to land. The 'girl's' question was answered when dull magenta and green tiles appeared from below.

"WAIT! WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! THAT'S NOT CARPET OR AIR-PUMPED FLOOR! IT'S GOING TO HURT!-"

Crash. Ooooh, that's got to hurt.. Anyways, the young 'girl' landed on his bottom hard onto the clean colorful tiles, making him wince PAINFULLY at the impact he took.

'Jeez…. At least tell me what is down at the bottom next time…' he muttered, standing up and rubbing his butt.

The blue headband Stormy(Blizz) threw down earlier was finally delivered to the 'girl', bouncing off his head and then onto the tiled floor.

"Ack!"

Alice rubbed his head from where the headband made contact at and looked at the hair accessory curiously, seeing a note attached to it.

_'__You better wear this, Kurapika! If you don't, you'll never escape Wonder- I MEAN WHEREVER YOU ARE RIGHT NOW! –your one and only Onee-san~' _

"QUIT THREATENING ME! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS PLACE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" the 'girl' exclaimed.

* * *

**Stormy: Sorry! I was sick for nearly a month! I couldn't update things and etc.**

**Kiyoko: At least you updated now, right?**

**Kuromi: Don't forget the stories other authors requested you.**

**Stormy: I know, I know...**

**Kurapika: WHY AM I ALICEEEEE?**

**Leorio: I wonder what I'm going to be... Maybe a really good looking character... Hehehe.**

**Killua: Better than having a tail and a pair of ears on your person.**

**Gon: Wait about your cat features?**

**Killua: ... Never mind that.**

**Kurapika: -sob-**

**Leorio: Anyways, poll on Stormy's profile!**

**Stormy: I also posted my OCS artwork and profile on my Wattpad(lilyblizz) and Quotev(stormhearts). Oh and Deviantart(imboredom). Check those out if you like too!**

**Everyone: Anyways! Enjoy this chapter! R&amp;R! Bye!**

**_~Stormy003_  
**


	3. Pool Of FAKE Tears

After a few minutes later of debating, Kurapika decided to wear the headband for the heck of it and tore off the note that was stuck onto the accessory. He then began to look around the empty room and saw the white rabbit, tinier than ever.

"What the heck?! How did you shrink, Killua?" Kurapika asked.

Killua ran to the sleeping door and unlocked it quickly, answering Kurapika's question before bailing out the door.

'If you know the story of Alice in Wonderland, then just reenact it! You'll find out sooner or later!' the tiny rabbit squeaked.

He then ran through the door, but was caught back by his pocket watch, too big to fit through the door without being adjusted.

'THIS DAMN WATCH!' Killua yelled in a high-pitched squeaky voice.

The rabbit grabbed the watch and turned it around vertically, shuffling through the door as quickly as he could and slamming it shut. Kurapika sweatdropped at the scene that just unfolded before him and then looked at the door curiously. The 'girl reached out to grab the tiny knob, but was rejected because of his size.

'NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT INTO ME!' a familiar voice said. 'I'M NOT GOING TO LET SOME GIANT THROUGH THIS TINY DOORWAY!'

Kurapika bent down to see who was talking to him and saw Netero's face features on the door, including his beard and long eyebrows.

"N-Netero?!" the 'girl' exclaimed, falling backwards and backing up a little in shock.

'No! I'm a doorknob! …. OF COURSE THAT'S MY NAME! HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT, YOUNG MISS?' the doorknob exclaimed loud enough for a giant to hear.

"I'M NOT A GIRL!" Kurapika yelled, making the old door knob flinch.

'Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say, but can you keep your voice level down? My 'lock' is about to burst!' Netero said.

Sudden silence filled between the two.

".. If you were trying to make a joke right there, you have failed to the point where you are labeled as a Leorio."

'Ouch,' the knob said.

"Now, what do I need to do to leave this prison?" Kurapika asked.

'Prison? This is no prison! This is an empty room! With a table and chairs of course,' Netero told the teen. 'If it was prison, you would be in a cell with metal bars barricading you!'

"Right… But I didn't see a table or cha-"

Kurapika cut himself off as he turned around and saw…. What do you know! A TABLE AND A CHAIR! Of course with a 'Drink Me' bottle and a box of cookies that labeled 'Eat Me'.

"If I remember about the story of Wonderland, I just need to drink this and bring a key with me just like the main character… Alright, let's do this."

Kurapika walked over to the white table and looked around to find the key he needed.

"Netero, do you know where the key is?"

The doorknob was asleep again and began to irritate the 'girl'.

"NETERO!"

'HA? WHA?! Oh, hello there, young miss! How did you know my name?' he asked again.

"NETERO, IT'S ME, KURAPIKA! WE ALREADY WENT THROUGH THIS!"

'Oh.'

"Anyways, where is the key to you, Netero?" Kurapika asked.

'Please, call me Door or Doorknob or Knob. Hmmmmm, maybe up in the ceiling?' the door said.

Kurapika nodded while giving a weird look to the door and then ate a growth cookie to grow taller and search for the key up in the ceiling. The thing was, THERE WAS NO CEILING!

"NETERO! THERE IS NO CEILING HERE! WHY IS THERE NO CEILING HERE?"

Asleep again.

"NETERO!"

'HA?! WHA?! WHAT WAS THAT?! Oh, hello there, young miss! How did you-'

Kurapika cut of the old doorknob irritatedly.

"I'm a guy! We went through that at least 2 times already…. NOW WHERE IS THE KEY?" Kurapika exclaimed, trying to keep calm.

'Hm….. Maybe it's underneath the table or somewhere at the corners?' he said.

'You better be right this time…' Kurapika muttered, drinking the potion.

The 'girl' shrunk, but not slowly or back to normal size. He shrunk at the speed of light and to the size of an ant.

"Uhhhh, I don't feel the ground underneath me," Kurapika said, trying to tap the air with his foot. "AH! Oof!"

The teen landed on the floor again and groaned in pain, pushing himself off the floor.

'Let's just… find the damn key…'

* * *

After 10 minutes of searching, Kurapika collapsed in front of the door and frowned. The 'girl' knocked the door repetitively next to his face until he woke up.

"Ha? Wha?" he said. "Oh-"

"Don't. Say it," Kurapika ordered.

The door knob immediately stopped talking and waited for him to speak.

"The key is nowhere to be found in this room, surprisingly. Do you happen to have a spare key somewhere here?"

Netero thought for a moment and then shook his knob.

'No, not at all. Now I think about it…. The white rabbit used the last key in this room and left just moments ago!" he exclaimed.

A vein popped in Kurapika's head after hearing that. He totally forgot about Killua's escape and didn't even think about it until now. The only way Killua was able to leave the room was with a key and he must've taken the key on the table to leave.

"That's it. I'M BUSTING YOU OPEN!" the 'girl' yelled, kicking the locked door open.

"OW! YOU JUST BROKE MY LOCK!" Netero told Kurapika as he exited the room and left the door wide open.

Kurapika ignored the door's outburst about his lock being broken and kept walking farther and farther away from him and into a forest.

'Wait.. Isn't it supposed to be flooded by tears or something here…?' Kurapika asked quietly.

Correct. NOW MAKE IT RAIN! Heh, he just jinxed himself. Water slowly dripped on top of the 'girl' and only him, making him wonder why nowhere else was sprinkling water. Just as he was about to take a step forward, water suddenly poured out of the sky like a waterfall right onto him, flooding up the entire place in the process.

"WHY THE HECK?!" he exclaimed, as he became drenched in the downpour above him.

A tiny leaf boat big enough to fight a mini person suddenly floated over to the boy unexpectedly as he continued to involuntarily get wet from the 'rain', his clothes sticking to his skin uncomfortably.

'Wet socks don't feel good… Haa…. Might as well- Wait. If I climb into the boat now, wouldn't that mean the water would flood into this boat?' Kurapika thought. '….. Oh well.'

The 'girl' climbed aboard into the small boat, or raft and much to his surprise, the downpour above him halted and didn't sink the boat. Animals were swept away by the risen water, now being redirected onto a bank. A fat dodo sitting on an upside down…. I can't even see what kinds of birds they are from afar, was being pushed around by a smaller bird to an island, passing Kurapika and his leaf boat quickly.

"Wait... Isn't there suppose to be a mouse here..?"

Pretend it was washed away, dear, now continue!~

"Fine..."

'Onii-chan, you're going to drown me…' the bird being used as a raft said.

'I'm so lucky I get to push him," the bird behind the Dodo said.

'Shut up! I'm not that fat!' the dodo exclaimed as he began to type faster on his laptop. 'Hurry up and go land on some island or something

The boat Kurapika was in followed the bird by itself and floated over to the bare land, stopping completely, no longer on water, but on sand.

'Oh looky here… It's Killua's brothers, just great,' the teen thought as he stepped out of the boat.

Water suddenly washed up onto him, making the 'girl' fall over and get stepped on by the familiar looking animals and the Zoldyck brothers.

'Oof! Augh- AH!' the 'girl' grunted each time a foot landed on him.

"Ah. Onii-san, trash just washed up onshore. Should I dispose of it?" Kalluto asked his brother.

"Yeah, sure. AH! THERE'S A BARGAIN ON THIS ACTION FIGURE! OH, AND THIS FIGURINE TOO!" Milluki said excitedly.

"No wait! It's a girl that washed up on shore, not trash! Are you okay, Miss?" Alluka asked.

'For that last time..' Kurapika muttered, his face planted on the ground. "I'M MALE!"

"Ah! Look! It's Kurapika!" Alluka exclaimed.

The young bird suddenly paused and looked up into the sky making a small apologetic face at something. Oh wait. He's trying to apologize to me. …. It's fineeeee! Just keep acting and you'll be able to cover it up.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" Kurapika exclaimed to nothing.

"Are you okay?" Alluka asked.

"Just great, really…" Kurapika said quietly.

"Ah! ONII-CHAN!" the young bird exclaimed as the white rabbit washed up on shore in an umbrella.

"Alluka, call me the white rabbit for Stormy(Blizz)-chan's sake, okay?" Killua called, getting out of the umbrella and squeezing out some water from his vest.

"O-okay," Alluka said.

Killua smiled at his brother as he held up his pocket watch and then cleared his throat as he picked up the umbrella, clearing out the water.

"Kil-"

"Oh no! I'm late! I'm late!" the white rabbit exclaimed, dashing off again.

"Oh great. Killua! Wait up!" Kurapika exclaimed after being cut off, standing up from the ground.

"You mean the white rabbit?" Kalluto asked, staring sternly at the 'girl'.

"Just get rid of them both already," Milluki groaned, pulling at his white dress shirt and navy blazer.

Kalluto nodded and then held out his right wing away from him, revealing a folded up fan that dropped out of his soft black feathers.

"…. I forgot. I'm a bird. I can't hold anything and that also means I can't use my nen... Damn."

Yeahhhh, its your wings that's causing your grip to slip. Hey, that rhymed!

Kurapika rolled his eyes and then smiled, remembering about his chains.

'I guess this isn't too bad so far.. Now I think about it, what is Gon's, Leorio's, Kiyoko's, and Kuromi's role in this world?' the 'girl' thought, adjusting his hair accessory and chasing after the rabbit again.

* * *

**Stormy: Bet you didn't see that coming... Just kidding!**

**Kiyoko: Next chapter! Say, who do you think we're going to be? Take guesses! **

**Gon: I'm going to be-**

**Kuromi: No, kid, not you. The readers.**

**Leorio: Don't spoil it, Gon!**

**Stormy: Haha, there's a new poll on my profile so check it if you like!**

**Kurapika: Any guesses on which character will be added in this story?**

**Killua: Oh, Netero...**

**Netero: .. Ha? Wha?**

**Everyone: Thanks for reading! R&amp;R AND ENJOY! BYE!**

_**~stormy003**_


	4. Hints Or Useless Poems?

The two ran into the forest ahead of them, Alice being a few kilometers away from Killua, the White Rabbit. Alice stopped running and looked around the shrouded forest, slowly inching over to a log with light being shined onto it.

'I'm pretty sure he ran this way….' Kurapika muttered.

Haha, too slow, Kura-kun! He went that way by the way.

'Did he go this way?' the 'girl' asked himself. 'Or this way…?'

Fine. Don't listen to me then.

The leaves on one of the trees in the forest and a cluster of bushes began to rustle as Alice walked around the small open area in deep thought. Kurapika was glaring at the sky until...

"W-WHOA!" a feminine voice yelled, falling out of the rustling tree. "OOF!"

Alice jumped when the person in the tree landed on the ground with a loud thud, crushing the grass beneath her.

"Ah! Are you alright?" another feminine voice asked, walking out of the cluster of bushes. "I told you you were going to fall off the tree..."

Kurapika's eyes widened at the familiar voices, turning his head to see if his guess was correct.

"Kiyoko, Kuromi?! Wait. HOW ARE YOU TWO EVEN SEPARATED?!"

The two looked up at the boy, Kiyoko nervously smiling while Kuromi glared a threatening glare.

"Separated? … Right, don't ask," Kiyoko answered the 'girl'. "Pretend that it's always been like this.

"I'd have you call us by our actual names, but since Stormy(Blizz) said not to, find out what our roles are and call us by whatever we are suppose to be called, Cat Face" Kuromi told Alice, standing up from the ground and brushing her clothes off.

Alice glared as he scratched his head and re-adjusted his headband, going into deep thought right after and studying their identical red tailed vest, yellow short shorts, orange and white droopy sleeve shirts, brown short boots and uneven white and red length socks. Even their hair style and yellow ribbons were matching. Kiyoko and Kuromi exchanged glances at each other in unison and then turning back to the older teen.

"I don't remember. Sorry, girls, but may I ask if you can tell me?"

"Course not!" Kuromi said, smirking. "Your loss, Girly."

'Go figure,' he muttered. 'And quit calling me a girl!'

"Too bad. You're wearing a blue dress with a frilly white apron."

"So wh-"

"You also have white stockings or long socks and a frilly blue headband. Heck, you even look like a girl because of your hair. Don't argue," Kuromi pointed out.

Kiyoko shook her head with a smile on her face then brushed her side ponytail back to the front as Alice slapped himself both physically and mentally.

"We," Kiyoko said lively.

"Have," Kuromi said after her other self, sounding very dead as she tightened up the yellow ribbon on her side ponytail.

"Hints," the two told Kurapika, getting into character.

"Our names are really stupid sounding, well in my opinion.." Kuromi said.

"We're obviously identical," Kiyoko said.

Kurapika shurgged, having no idea which characters in the story were suppose to be identical twins. The two girls sighed and gestured at their their clothes, earning a blank stare, then pointed to their pockets for Kurapika to look at. The boy went closer and looked at the small embodied names.

"Tweedledee and Tweedledum.. Sooo…. Kiyoko is Dee and Kuromi is Dum..?"

"Hey!"

"Yep! Now, sit down and tell us why you're following that white rabbit, Alice," Kiyoko said, the two girls pushing Kurapika onto the log behind him to sit.

"Please don't call me that."

"Too bad. Just get on with it," Kuromi growled.

"Ugh... Fine. Well, I just want to know why he's screaming, something about being late..?" Alice asked.

'That's bad. Being curious that is…' the girl known as Tweedledum said, smiling at her counter as they both remained the way they needed to be.

'Perhaps he's never heard of the story of the Walrus and Carpenter,' the girl known as Tweedledee told Tweedledum quietly, a smile played on her face as well.

"Um, what are you guys talking about?" Kurapika asked. "Is this something that deals about that one statement of 'curiosity kills the cat?"

"Close, but no cigar!" Tweedledum said as she pointed upwards with her index finger, earning an elbow to the waist.

The girl immediately reacted and held her stomach with both her arms, dropping to the floor and frowning at her twin.

"Ow! That kind of hurt.." Tweedledee groaned as she slowly stood back up.

"That's not even close. It's a story about the curious baby Oysters or it could also be known as the story of the Walrus and the Carpenter," Kuromi started, earning an elbow to the opposite waist as well.

Tweedledum flinched and rubbed the side of her waist with a twisted look on her face.

"Ah- Hey! Actually, yeah, that did kind of hurt.."

"I told you~" Tweedledee sang.

"Let's just get on with the story…" Tweedledum told herself.

"Alright then…" the girl said, clearing her throat.

"Wait, what are you suppose to be doing now?" Alice asked.

"Recite a poem," the twins replied.

_Tweedledum: The sun was shining on the sea_  
_Shining with all his might_

_Tweedledee: He did his very best to make_  
_The billows smooth and bright_

_Tweedledum: And this was odd because it was_

_Both: The middle of the night_

_Tweedledee: The Walrus and the Carpenter_  
_Were walking close at hand_

_Tweedledum: The beach was wide_  
_From side to side_  
_But much too full of sand_  
_Mr. Walrus!_

_Tweedledee: Said the Carpenter_

_Tweedledum: My brain begins to perk_  
_We'll sweep this clear_  
_In 'alf a year_  
_If you don't mind the work_

_Tweedledee: Work?!_  
_The time has come..._

_Tweedledum: The Walrus said_

_Tweedledee: To talk of other things_  
_Of shoes and ships and sealing wax_  
_Of cabbages and kings_  
_And why the sea is boiling hot_  
_And whether pigs have wings_  
_Calloo-Callay_  
_No work today!_  
_We're cabbages and kings_  
_Oh, uh, Oysters, come and walk with us_  
_The day is warm and bright_  
_A pleasant walk_  
_A pleasant talk_  
_Would be a sheer delight_

_Tweedledum: Yes, should we get hungry on the way_  
_We'll stop and, uh, have a bite_

_Tweedledee: Ahem!_

_Tweedledum: But Mother Oyster winked her eye_  
_And shook her heavy head_  
_She knew too well this was no time_  
_To leave her Oyster bed_

_Tweedledee: The sea is nice,_  
_Take my advice_  
_And stay right here_  
_Mum said_

_Tweedledum: Yes, yes, of course, of course, but, uh, ha, ha!_  
_The time has come, my little friends_  
_To talk of other things_  
_Of shoes and ships and sealing wax_  
_Cabbages and kings_  
_And why the sea is boiling hot_  
_And whether pigs have wings, ha ha_  
_Callo-Callay_  
_Come, run away_  
_With cabbages and kings!_  
_Well, now, uh, let me see_  
_Ah, a loaf of bread is what we chiefly need!_

_Tweedledee: Listen, how 'bout some pepper and salt and vinegar, eh?_

_Tweedledum: Well, yes, yes, splendid idea, ha ha!_  
_Very good, indeed_  
_Now, if you're ready, Oysters, dear_  
_We can begin the feed_

_Both: Feed?!_

_Tweedledum: Oh, yes..._  
_The time has come, my little friends_  
_To talk of food and things_

_Tweedledee: Of peppercorns and mustard seeds_  
_And other seasonings!_  
_We'll mix 'em all together_  
_In a sauce that's fit for kings_  
_Calloo-Callay_  
_We'll eat today_  
_Like cabbages and kings!_

_Tweedledum: I, uh..._  
_I, I weep for you. I (hic), oh excuse me_  
_I deeply sympathize_  
_For I've enjoyed your company, oh much more_  
_Than you realize_

_Tweedledee: Little Oysters? Little Oysters?_  
_But answer, there came none_

_Tweedledum: And this was scarcely odd because_

_Both: They'd been eaten_  
_Every one!_

_Tweedledum: Hm... Well, uh... Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ahem, uh... The time has come!_

_Both: With cabbages and kings!_  
The end!

Kurapika stared at the two females in front of him with disinterest, his head lean onto his hand and his elbow propped atop his crossed legs.

"Shocking how Kuromi is able to remember such a poem.." Alice muttered.

"HEY!"

"Okay….. How is this poem suppose to tell me or got to deal with me? It's not like I'm going to get eaten like those oysters, am I?" Kurapika asked sarcastically.

Kiyoko, or Tweedledee, chuckled nervously at the 'girl' and then looked around the area, playing with her large droopy sleeves that was sticking out from underneath her tailed vest's armholes.

"No comment.." the girl said.

Kuromi groaned and then shook her head disappointedly, her face buried in her hand.

"How about this..." Kuromi said. "Would you like to get eaten?"

"No...?" Alice asked back.

"Exactly. If you're curious, it'll only lead you to fatal situtations. Just you watch."

"Like what?" the 'girl' asked.

"We're not telling you..!" Kiyoko answered.

"I don't think it will be THAT bad. I mean I just found out that we're still able to use our nens at this place," Kurapika said, conjuring up and dangling his dowsing chain away from himself.

I'll be taking that away then, thank you! I can't believe I forgot to take that away from you from the start, haha!

Stormy(Blizz) made the 'girl's dowsing chain go poof before their very eyes and got him to stare at his hand with disbelief.

"Seriously.. Seriously... SERIOUSLY?! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW?! I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE AND GET THIS OVER WITH! STORMY(BLIZZ), GET BACK HERE!"

Kuromi was laughing hysterically at the 'girl's' panicked state as he frantically ran around to look for the author, looking back up into the sky after stopping.

Thing is, Kura-kunnnn, I'm not letting you out easily. Also, I was never even present in the first place, so ha! What were you going to do with it anyways?

"Look for the exit in the fastest way possible obviously!"

Knew it.

Alice sighed and then looked at the twin, running over to the closest girl first.

"Kiyoko-"

Ahem..

"Fine.. Tweedledee! Mind telling me where to go?" Kurapika asked.

"Sorry, but that's not happening anytime soon," the girl replied, smiling casually.

Alice moaned irritably and then ran over to Tweedledum who was calming down from her laughing fit.

"Kur- I' mean Twee-"

"No."

"BUT I DIDN'T EVEN ASK YET!"

"I already know what you are going to ask me and the answer is a straight up no, AL-ICE," Kuromi answered, emphasizing the name Alice and clearing her throat.

"Stormy(Blizz)! Tell me where Killua went please?" Alice begged.

You mean the White Rabbit. I did earlier, but you didn't listen sooo... No can do!

"KURO, KIYO!" the girl exclaimed desperately.

'You know what, never mind. Just go,' Tweedledum told the 'girl' disappointedly, pointing at a random direction. "Go get 'eaten' for all I care. Stormy(Blizz), add a dinosaur in this world or something!"

I would, but sadly, that'll only happen in Jurassic Park.

"How boring..!"

I know. Sorry about that!~

Alice and Tweedledee sweat dropped at the negative girl known as Tweedledum and exchanged weird looks to each other, a smile played on their lips.

"I'll go do something about this.. You may proceed and continue your search," the positive girl said, waving Kurapika off and patting her counterpart's back.

The 'girl' gave a quick nod and then roamed off in the direction the White Rabbit took off to, entering a field of a small coral to light orange looking house a few minutes later.

"Hm? I wonder who lives here," the 'girl' said out loud as he got closer to the wooden gate and stoned walls.

* * *

**Stormy: Was your guess correct or not? I'm going to stick to the Disney version of Alice. I don't remember much of the actual story -sigh-**

**Kiyoko: I'm Tweedledee!**

**Kuromi: And I'm Tweedledum..**

**Kurapika: There are Gon and Leorio left to find out about!**

**Leorio and Gon: Take a guess!**

**Stormy: So the known characters are... Kurapika as Alice, Killua as White Rabbit, Kiyoko as Tweedledee, and Kuromi as Tweedledum!**

**Kuromi: Why do I have to be Dum?**

**Killua: Maybe because you are..? -snickers-**

**Kuromi: SNOWBALL! GET OVER HERE!**

**Killua: -runs off-**

**Gon: Haha, anyways, poll on Stormy's wall!**

**Leorio: This chapter wasn't as humorous as the last few, but oh well..**

**Stormy: I know.. I'll do better..**

**Everyone: R&amp;R AND ENJOY! BYE!**

_**~stormy003**_


	5. How Does Santa Fit In A Chimney?

'MARIANNE! I wonder where she could be…' a familiar voice muffled as the person opened up the top window. 'MARIANNEEEEE!

'Ah, it's Killua,' Alice muttered as the rabbit continued to yell, 'Marianne'.

Kurapika entered the front yard and inched closer to the house every few steps he took, the rabbit slamming the window doors shut and running back out the house. He was dressed up differently than the first time he appeared, wearing mainly white, red, pink, and light blue.

'Oh why can't you- Just- Oh dear me- Oh my-,' the rabbit spoke quickly, cutting himself off every time as he ran out the building.

"Hey, Killua-"

The boy breezed past Alice and passed the gate unexpectedly quick. The White Rabbit suddenly went into an abrupt stop and back up a little to look at the 'girl' near the house.

"WHY, MARIANNE!" Killua exclaimed, stomping over to Kurapika. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?"

"M-M-Marianne? I thought I was Alice?" Kurapika asked questioningly.

The White Rabbit's glasses suddenly slipped off his face and dropped onto the floor with an audible clank.

"Oops. Let me get that really quick.." he said, holding up his index finger and bending down to pick up the fallen and pretty much broken pair of glasses.

"Aww crap. Now it's hard to see because of the cracked and chipped lenses," Killua complained. "Oh well, I'll cope with it.."

The young child, well, rabbit cleared out his throat and said his lines.

"Don't just do something, stand there and do nothing! Wait. Do something! That didn't sound right.. Uhhh.. No, no! Go! Go get my gloves!" the White Rabbit finally decided, running back to the entrance of the house and pointing inside. "I'm late!"

"Late for what?" Kurapika asked as Killua jumped around and flash his big and heavy pocket watch

The boy went quiet and thought for a moment.

"…. I'm not sure."

…. Well, that was expected from him..

"THIS STUPID WATCH IS HEAVY! CAN I JUST LEAVE IT HERE? MY SHOULDER IS STIFF!" Killua exclaimed angrily.

Sorry, Killua, but you're carrying that for the story. 'Tis why you don't interrupt people!

"Ugh….." the boy groaned as his long bunny ears flopped around.

Killua glanced over at Kurapika and then back at the watch and then back again at Alice.

"MY GLOVES!" the White Rabbit exclaimed, pulling out a trumpet and blowing it at Kurapika's face. "MY GLOVES YOU HEAR?!"

Kurapika ran into the small building and then glared at the rabbit.

"Oh, you will-"

Kura-kun. Just go.

'Fine…' the 'girl' muttered, trudging upstairs with heavy footsteps.

Alice entered the only room present upstairs and grumble multiple statements at the same time, sounding as if he was speaking gibberish to a snail. A box filled with 'Eat Me' cookies that sat on top of a drawer caught the said 'girl's' eyes, making him cringe at the sight.

"… Oh hell no am I touching that again," Alice said.

Kurapika shot a glare at the ceiling as if he could see the author.

... OKAY, FINE! KURAPIKA. HAPPY?

"Much. Now, let's find his gloves…"

Kurapika looked around the room and through the drawers for the requested white gloves, unable to detect them anywhere. Al- Kurapika turned around to leave the building and informed the impatient rabbit about his misplaced glove. Wait. KURAPIKA, EAT A COOKIE!

"LIKE HELL, STORMY(BLIZZ)!"

FINE THEN! MAGICAL AUTHOR SLASH STORY WRITING POWERS, GO! YOU WILL NOW BE A GIANT FOR THIS SCENE! Nothing happened in the room or to the 'girl' making him snicker at the voice echoing through the atmosphere.

"Heh, looks like it failed," Kurapika said, turning on his heels.

He suddenly stopped at his spot as he began to increase in height rapidly, the white rabbit entering the room at the wrong time.

"WHAT THE- WHOA!" Killua exclaimed, running out of the house. "STORMY(BLIZZ)! IS THIS SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN?!"

Yes, son. Yes.

"I'M NOT YOUR SON!"

Yeah, yeah, just get to it already…

The white rabbit sighed and ran off far away from his house as he yelled 'Monster! There's a monster in my house!', his voice fading as he disappeared. A second later, Killua came racing back to the house with his brother following him casually, still on his laptop.

"There's a giant monster! Over in the building there! My house to be exact!" Killua exclaimed, pointing frantically at Kurapika who sat there and waited impatiently.

"Monster? Where?" Dodo asked uninterestedly.

Killua glowered at Milluki and then straightforwardly pointed at Kurapika's foot without acting frightened by the sight.

"Oh, why didn't you say so? OH! OH, OH, OH! A HUGE DISCOUNT ON A VIDEO GAME I WAS AIMING FOR!" Milluki exclaimed. "One second, brat."

Killua slapped his forehead and groaned annoyingly at the fat bird, spotting a green lizard that was clad in dirty white working clothes strolling by with a ladder on his shoulder.

"Ah, KI- I MEAN BILL!" the rabbit exclaimed, waving at the lizard.

Kite turned around and looked at the jumping boy, saluting with his cobalt hat. The lizard stalked over to where Dodo and the White Rabbit were standing, the ladder still propped onto his shoulder comfortably.

"What is it, Killua?" Bill asked casually.

Killua pointed over to the house beside him and smiled a little.

"There's a monster in my house. Mind taking a look?"

Kite nodded and set up his ladder next to the wall. The lizard climbed up the ladder and looked through the window to stare directly at Kurapika's irritated looking eye.

"Hmmm, let's see if we can help you, alright?" Bill asked, climbing up higher to the roof.

The lizard peered through the chimney and only saw ashes located everywhere and a slither of light. Bill then climbed back down and dragged Dodo back up with him.

"Eh?" Milluki asked. "Eh? EH?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Solving this problem, of course," Kite answered.

"WHY AM I INVOLVED IN THIS?"

"Down the chimney you go!"

And next thing you know, Kite threw the boy into the chimney and shoved him with all his might down the pipe of the house. The lizard took notice of the silver transportable computer in the teen's hands and snatched it away from him.

"HEY! CAREFUL- OW! MY LAPTOP! LAPTOP-CHAN!" Milluki cried.

"Quit whining!" Kite grunted with every stomp.

"LAPPY-CHAN! OW! OW! OI, STOP STEPPING ON AND PUSHING ME!" Dodo exclaimed, slowly sinking into the house.

Killua watched with amusement as his brother was being forced into the house through a small crevice uncomfortably.

"HOW! DOES! SAN-TA! FIT! THROUGH! THIS! CRAP?!" Milluki exclaimed with every step he took.

The teen popped through the chimney and landed in a pile of ash, creating grey clouds and making Kurapika sneeze him back out of the house.

"DAMN YOU ALLLLLLLLL!" Milluki screamed, his voice slowly thinning out as he flew through the sky.

"Oh, he forgot his laptop," Kite said. "Ehhhh, I'll just hand it over to you, Killua"

Killua's rabbit outfit was suddenly mixed in with his cat-like features, making him look like some foreign gijinka.

"Yes, yes! Do hand it over to me!" the boy exclaimed, running over to the lizard with his arms stretched out.

Kurapika sighed loudly; well, he can't really control his voice's volume at the moment anyways. Everyone looked over to Alice and took a second to think and remember about the situation.

"Oh yeah, so why are you stuck in a house?" Kite suddenly asked.

"Blame Stormy(Blizz) and her magical author powers or whatever.." Kurapika pouted.

Um, it's magical author SLASH story writing powers.

"Yeah, yeah, that."

Kite rubbed the nape of his neck tiredly and then fixed his hat for no apparent reason.

"I don't know what to do honestly…. But I suppose we can burn the house. All we need to do is to stop it before Kurapika gets burned. Highly doubt that will be successful"

Is that even possible? I mean look, it's fire. Kite, once you burn the house, it'll spread quickly and he'll be dead in no time.

"Good point, Stormy(Blizz)."

"What do we do now then?" Killua asked.

Oh, you guys are hopeless… Killua.

"Yes?"

Carrots.

"... Wait, what? I don't get it," the boy said.

Car-rots.

"Um, okay…"

The rabbit trotted over to the carrot garden near the house and grabbed one of his growing carrots, pulling it out in one try.

"W-what do I do now?" Killua asked.

I'm not telling you guys anymore hints unless it's necessary. Find out yourself.

Killua sighed and turned over to Kite, handing him the vegetable.

"You can hand the carrot to Kurapika," the boy said in a rushed tone looking at his watch. "I'm leaving with the laptop now."

The White Rabbit immediately dashed off away from his house, Kurapika beginning to panic.

'Oh, man. Look at all these purchases he made. I should cancel Piggy's online orders right at this moment!' the boy said in a distance, scanning the laptop.

"Quick, Kite. Give me the carrot. I need to follow him right now," the 'girl' urged.

"Here, here, I need to leave also anyways," Bill said, throwing the orange vegetable through the window.

Kurapika suddenly shrunk a second later after the carrot was thrown into the house, the 'girl' squeezing through the tiny door crack.

"So are you going to be fine on your own?" Kite asked, picking up his ladder and swinging it over his shoulder again.

'I'll be fine. Thanks, Kite!' Kurapika squeaked running off in the direction Killua took off to.

* * *

**Stormy: Characters!**

**Kiyoko and Kuromi: Any guesses?**

**Gon: R&amp;R!**

**Killua: And enjoy!**

**Kurapika: Not much to say...**

**Leorio: She's burnt out and tired. Apologies..**

**Everyone: Bye!**

_**~stormy003**_


	6. Shrinking and Growing Once Again

"Killua!" Alice called.

The White Rabbit didn't stop running and disappeared into a forest of flowers with Kurapika following far behind.

"Killua!" the 'girl' called again.

Kurapika tried hard not to lose sight of Killua on the run, but when he ducked underneath a giant leaf to get to the other side, the rabbit was no longer there. A few strange looking butterflies flew past ahead of Kurapika and landed on a long strand of grass one by one to form a loaf of bread, catching his undivided attention.

"… What the heck is that..?" he asked, poking one of their wings.

"They're bread butterflies, that's what they are," a female voice rang.

Alice jumped and looked around to detect the owner of the voice, seeing only flowers in front of him. A Rocking Horse Fly suddenly flew up to his face and stopped, making him back up a little cautiously.

"That is a Rocking Horse Fly, though it looks a bit weird to me…" another voice said.

Kurapika frowned and then looked around the area once more, this time seeing the flowers move.

"This form is very uncomfortable… It's ruining my usual cute outlook!" Bisky complained. "And I can't even move like this!"

"At least you weren't a door knob, Bisky," Wing said. "Unless you wanted to take form of a dodo or a door knob."

"I do not!"

"Wing-san, have I completed my training yet?" Zushi suddenly asked. "My body feels numb from standing her all day."

Kurapika stared at the stiff looking flower and sweat dropped in response, noticing how unnatural it looked.

"Yes, you have, Zushi. He was unaware of your presence and so you have passed," the flower said.

'I feel like an idiot for not seeing that..' Kurapika thought to himself.

"So, what are you doing in this garden?" Ging asked.

"He must be looking for something," Lippo stated.

"That's correct. Have any of you seen the White Rabbit?" Kurapika asked.

"Maybe we did, maybe we didn't. Now get me out of here!" Uvogin exclaimed. "I don't want to sit here like a pretty flower all day,, I want to fight and kill!"

"Quit complaining. It's not like we had a choice," Machi muttered, trying to cover her ears if she had any.

"She's right you know," Pakunoda said.

"Why were we dragged into this?" Feitan asked, turning to the sky.

.. Oh, wait. That's me he's staring at. Scary.. Uhhh, it's because you were dragged into it? Hey, at least you get a simple role!

"Simple my-," Nobunaga said, being cut off.

Don't curse. I have the power to murder you myself in this story. Don't forget, author's slash writer's power. But I'm not mean, so I'll let you live.

The Spiders only mumbled out complaints and looked away disappointedly.

"By the way, where's our leader?" Shalnark said, looking around.

Just get on with the story… I'm not going to tell you about Chrollo's location, damn it.

Kurapika had an irritated look on his face and turned away to get moving once again.

"HEY, CHAIN BASTARD WE'RE NOT DONE HERE!" Uvogin called, wanting to pick a fight.

"You know that we are in no condition to fight, right?" Shizuku asked, lifting up a leaf that was supposed to be her right arm.

"GET BACK HERE!"

He's not going to give up.

Kurapike kept on heading straight, ignoring the Phantom Troupe members who kept struggling to get their roots out of the ground, the other members just watching them struggle.

"Hm?" the 'girl' hummed, looking up at the sky to see smoke that spelled out SOS. "Is someone in trouble?"

Kurapika took the liberty to run and check out the problem and the person who was calling out for help, panting when he stopped at the base of a giant mushroom.

'It doesn't look like anything is wrong here….' he muttered.

And then he heard a person take a sudden deep breath, faint blowing noises being produced from above the mushroom and another SOS sign being formed.

"Ahhhh, when will someone come and help me…..?" a familiar male voice asked, way too familiar much to Kurapika's liking. "I'm such a lonely, lonely caterpillar…."

"Leorio?" Kurapika asked.

"Kurapika?" Leorio asked, looking down from the top.

The caterpillar stifled a laugh and covered up his mouth when he saw Alice in response, looking away quickly to hide the fact that he was laughing. Kurapika frowned at the caterpillar and blushed embarrassedly, crossing his arms together frustratingly.

"Stormy(Blizz), I'll get you for this later…"

No, you won't! Hahaha, you won't be able to see me after this ends!

"K-KURA- KURAPIKA, HAHA, YOU LOOK GREAT WITH THAT OUTFIT!" Leorio laughed.

"Get on with this, please. I don't have time for this.." Kurapika sighed.

Leorio was now lying on his back, kicking his legs into the air as he continued his horrible laughing fit, dropping his pipe in the process. Kurapika began to grow weary as he waited for the man to calm down and sit up straight. Technically took at least five minutes for that to happen….

"Okay, okay, I'm fine now. What is it that you need?" Leorio asked.

"What's with the SOS messages?"

"Oh, that? I was getting bored sitting, so I began forming SOS messages to see if anyone could see it," he replied. "I guess it worked!"

"…. What. Anyways…. have you seen Killua? And who are you supposed to be, the caterpillar?" Kurapika asked.

"Yes, yes I have! And yes, I'm supposed to be the caterpillar. A very good looking one am I not?" he answered, striking a proud pose.

Kurapika ignored the question and continued to throw out his own, Leorio's triumphant face falling to disinterest.

"Do you know which way he went? I want to know where he's headed to and somehow get out of this place," the 'girl' asked, sitting down on a shorter mushroom.

"Left, right, up, down, north, south, east, west, northwest, northeast, southwest, southeast, straight, vertical, horizontal, I don't know?" Leorio grumbled, sitting back down on the mushroom he stood on.

"Seriously? You know what, fine. How about getting back to my regular height?"

"Mushroom. One side makes you grow and then other with make you shrink. I have no other answers to provide you, and so I will now take my leave," Leorio said in a sulking manner, suddenly sprouting colorful butterfly wings and flapping away.

"Wait. WHICH ONE? THERE ARE SEVERAL ONES HERE!" Kurapika called after him.

The caterpillar turned butterfly remained silent as he sobbed to himself quietly, disappearing into the sky slowly. Since Leorio didn't really answer Alice's last question, he sighed to himself and decided to rip off two pieces of the mushroom he sat on, one from each side.

"He better not poison me…." he muttered.

Kurapika took a small bite of the mushroom slice he held in his right and suddenly shrunk even further than the size he already was in.

'Damn it! Wrong one! Now I'm even smaller than an ant!' he fumed.

The 'girl' then angrily took another bite from the mushroom, this time the piece he held in his left and grew taller than the trees surrounding him. As he grew taller and taller, he involuntarily brought up a nest filled with eggs and a mother bird with him, the lot sitting on top of his head.

"This isn't right.."

"'Scuseeeeeeeeee me!" the bird screamed angrily, hugging her eggs.

Kurapika rolled his eyes up to look at the animal without letting the nest slip off his head.

"Are you going after my eggs? Put me down this instant! Put me down, put me down!" the white bird squawked. "I will find a way to murder you!"

'She's getting annoying…' Kurapika thought as Killua's mother, Kikyo Zoldyck, continued to scream.

The 'girl' sighed once more, irritated with what he has to deal with, and ate the mushroom piece that shrinks those who dared to eat it. As he shrunk back to the size he was before he ate the piece, the nest and Kikyo dropped back to the tree they were first located in, nearly missing the branch. Kikyo glared at Alice and decided to go after him and attack. Before she reached him, Kurapika lick the mushroom piece that allowed him to grow back to normal size and leapt away from her before she pecked him.

"Sorry, but I don't have time for this," he said, walking away from the now stuck bird.

'MMFHH! MMMMFHFHHM!' she yelled, her beak stuck to the ground.

"It's feels good being the appropriate height once again.." the boy said in relief, smiling to himself.

As Alice came into the middle of a crossroad, signs were seen hanging around on trees and struck into the ground, telling him to leave, go up, go this way or that, yonder and beyond. The different signs were just contradicting themselves and pointing in different directions, confusing the 'girl' to the fullest of their ability.

"Where the hell am I suppose to go now...?" Kurapika said frustratingly.

A faint voice suddenly began to echo around the area, sounding very muffled and unclear, as bright and colorful lights flashed in different areas of the forest.

"..."

Kurapika looked around cautiously, taking a fighting stance which looked ridiculous due to his feminine appearance and attire, I'm sorry, yet I'm not. Kurapika looked up and glared.

Then again he's glaring at me, how wonderful.

A mouth suddenly appeared from the shadows and out revealed a purple cat. Wait. That cat has a long thin mustache..

"Child, why make me a cat?" Zeno asked curiously.

I'm sorry, but I just needed someone to be the cat though I was planning to make Bisky the Cheshire cat...

Zeno only nodded and brushed the author off.

"So are you lost?"

"Does it look like I am?" Kurapika asked carefully.

"I advise you to answer that yourself. Anyways, I' guessing that you're looking for my grandson, Killua?" the cat asked.

Zeno- san..

"I mean the White Rabbit."

Thank you.

"Do you know which way he went?" Alice asked.

"He went that way."

Kurapika frowned and turned behind him, then back to the cat, and pointed behind himself.

"Wait. Where? You mean the path behind me?"

"Or maybe that way..."

"You're not even pointing to any of the paths!" Kurapika exclaimed.

"Fine, go ask the Mad Hatter for the location of the White Rabbit. It seems like you do not need my guidance," he said, disappearing once again.

"Wait, wait, wait. Don't go yet," Kurapika said, Zeno returning solidly. "Where's the Mad Hatter?"

Zeno frowned and sighed, pointing at a sign next to him.

"This way. Unless you want to see the March Hare, then over there. But I don't think he's there for the day, so go see the Mad Hatter," the cat said, this time disappearing completely.

"... I guess I should pay the Mad Hatter a quick and brief visit then.." the 'girl' said quietly, leaving in the direction of the Mad Hatter's location.

As he continued down the path he selected, Kurapika came across a small beige house with a golden hay roof and yellow exterior, a beige fence closed at the front of the house. Laughing and chattering was heard in the backyard, as he came closer and closer to the house, the voice sounding very familiar. As he stopped at a fence and took a peek, Kurapika spotted a long table draped by a white cloth and many tea cups.

"... Is that...?" he began.

* * *

**Stormy: Hey, guys! I'm back and somewhat fully recovered!**

**Kuromi: That's a lie.**

**Stormy: Okay, fine. I'm still a little sick. Just a cold now. Maybe a little less than a cold. But I can start typing up stories and draw legit art now!**

**Kiyoko: Don't over do it again.**

**Stormy: I won't. Well, I don't think I will.**

**Kurapika: You never keep your words to yourself, do you?**

**Stormy: No, not really. But I keep my words when it comes to others. Like if I promise them something, I'll keep it. I just can't keep promises to myself, hehe.**

**Leorio: You have a lot to learn kid.**

**Stormy: Pfft, I know.**

**Killua: No, you don't.**

**Stormy: -frowns-**

**Gon: Just keep doing what you want to do. We're always here to help!**

**Stormy: You don't even exist in the real world! -sob-**

**Everyone: -sweat drops-**

**Gon: Thanks for waiting for such a long time!**

**Killua: Thanks for reading!**

**Leorio: R&amp;R!**

**Kurapika: And stay tune!**

**Kiyoko:We'll try updating more often, but it'll be a little hard since Stormy here has a lot of homework and then there is also her art life.**

**Kuromi: She's doing the best she can, so LEAVE HER ALONE!**

**Stormy: Kuro. Calm down.. It's not like I'm dying, but thanks for actually, uhh, worrying.**

**Kuromi: Hmph...**

**Everyone: Bye!**


	7. Hisoka, You What?

**NOTE: This is where I blank out on Alice. I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT LEGITIMATELY HAPPENED IN ALICE IN WONDERLAND XD I'M SORRY GUYS!**

* * *

Kurapika stared at the Mad Hatter and March Hare, flickering his eyes back and forth to take in the view. They were busy exchanging tea cups and serving tea with each other.

"Oh? And who do we have here? Would you like to join the tea party, young lady?" the Mad Hatter asked, raising a teacup and tipping his hat.

"Ah! Kurapika!" the March Hare exclaimed.

"G-gon! A-and Hisoka?!" Kurapika said, entering the yard.

Names...

'Fine..' he grumbled. "Wait, what about Go- I mean the March Hare? He called me Kurapika just now!"

That's acceptable.

'Not fair,' he growled.

I just love to pick fun at people. Don't worry, I'll make up for it.

"You better!"

Gon and Hisoka just sweat dropped and watched the boy converse with the author AKA me~ nervously. Well to be exact, Gon was. Hisoka just had his poker face on.

"Are you perhaps the Mad Hatter and the March Hare?" the 'girl' asked, pointing at the two.

"That is correct," Hisoka answered with a smirk. "Come, come! Join the party! Our tea party!"

Kurapika shivered and grew a little pale as he decided to take a seat close to the exit. Gon ran over to him and dragged him closer to the other end of the table instead.

"No, no! Sit over here! Get closer!" the March Hare invited, pulling Alice by the arm.

'N-no, I was quite comfortable ther- Fine.." he replied, completely giving up.

"Have a seat, have a seat," the March Hare and Mad Hatter chimed in unison.

"Right..." Kurapika answered as he did what he was told to do.

Hisoka quickly poured a cup of tea at an abnormally tall height and set the pot down. Gon slid the sugar bowl from the other end over to Hisoka and the man stopped it from sliding off the long table by slapping his large hand down in front of it. Kurapika jumped at this and went pale.

"Sugar in your tea?" Hisoka asked.

"N-no thank you.. Actually, I don't want any tea either.." Kurapika answered in a disturbed manner.

The man just shrugged and took off the lid of the sugar bowl, putting a few tea spoonful of sugar into the cup anyways.

"Here you go. So what brings you here?" he asked, sliding the cup full of sweetened tea to Kurapika.

'I said I didn't want any, but okay..' the 'girl' muttered. "Have you seen Ki- I mean the White Rabbit? God damn.."

Kurapika reached over to grab the tea cup in front though Hisoka beat him to it, grabbing the cup and sipping it himself. The 'girl' was now staring at the man disapprovingly and dropped his hand down onto the table.

"The White Rabbit? Oh, you mean Killua?" Gon asked, tightening up the teal bow around the collar of his white dress shirt before clumsily pouring himself a cup of tea.

"Yes..." Alice groaned.

"Hisoka, did you see him?" the boy asked curiously, tilting his head to the side and letting his brown ears flop.

"Maybe," he replied, fixing his green and pink top hat.

"Where did he go?" Alice asked immediately, standing up from his seat.

Gon then ran over to him, his gold buckled black dress shoes clopping on the concrete floor and his over sized medium length tan coat flowing behind him loosely. He then sat him back down into his seat and pat his shoulders, telling him to stay. The Dormouse in the group suddenly popped out of one of the sugar bowls, yawning a little and staring at Kurapika curiously.

"... Why are you in there, Satotz-san... No... More like why are you so small...?" Alice asked.

"Why I am the Dormouse. Though I feel like I was knocked out by something and stuffed in sugar.." he replied, spitting out a few grains. "Too sweet.."

Kurapika shot a look at the author... Don't look at me. I swear I didn't do anything, Kurapika. Hisoka smirked as he set down his tea cup and loosened up his pink tie looped around his white dress shirt's collars.

"I'll take the blame. After all, I was the one who stuffed him in the bowl," he said, smiling casually. "I just totally forgot about him. That's all."

'... Well then..' he muttered. "I wonder what time it is right now..."

"I don't know, I was about to ask the same thing to you guys," a voice said, entering the White Rabbit.

Killua, are you strutting..?

"What? No!"

"What the- Killua? I thought- How the- You know what? This is so confusing.." Kurapika said, holding a hand up to his forehead.

"I got lost, that's all," Killua commented. "Anyways, my pocket watch died and I lost track of the time. I'll be leaving it here, alright?"

"That looks like a pain to carry..." Gon suddenly commented. "Go right ahead, Killua!"

"Thanks, Gon. I'll be leaving now," the White Rabbit said, dropping the giant golden watch to the ground and dashing off.

"H-hey! Wait up!" Kurapika called after him. "I'll be seeing you after this mess as well, Gon. Bye."

And with that, the Kurta stood up onto his chair and took off into the air from leaping onto the table and off it. Whoa, that sounded confusing. Let's just say he used the table as a launching board. Though he could have fell off because of the slippery white cloth... Oh well, I'll pay for injuries too, I guess.

"... Let's continue then, shall we?" Hisoka asked, pulling out a deck of cards as Gon waved.

* * *

"Where the heck did he go...?" Kurapika asked himself. "Actually,it's more important to ask where am I?"

Alice looked at the sign hooked onto a tree that read 'Tulgey Wood'. He then shrugged and continued down the woods with the thought of Killua passing by the area. Random animals fused with everyday objects like mirrors and glasses suddenly began to appear in trees and bushes, more like all around in the environment. Kurapika just ignored them and sped right on through even though they followed.

'Annoying. Annoying. Annoying. I have no idea where I'm going...' he told himself. "Hey, Stormy(Blizz)?"

Hm?

"Want to help me? I feel like I'm going in circles. A headache is growing.."

The author sighed. Sighhhh... Okay, what is it that you need? Kurapika headed over to a stone and sat down, resting his head in his hands. The animals began to curiously surround the area, looking at him from far away.

"Guide me out of here, please," he asked.

Whatever you say... The woods and the creatures living in it began fading, but a certain cat was waiting in one of the trees. Ask Zeno.

"What a what?" Kurapika replied.

The Chesire Cat. The 'girl' blinked and looked up to see him sitting there, his straight face burning holes into Alice's face.

"Oh," he said. "Hey, where should I go from here?"

Zeno just shrugged and tugged on a random tree branch.

"Why don't you meet the Queen of Hearts from here on out?" he asked as the trunk of the tree he sat in opened to reveal a bright background of a castle.

* * *

**Stormy: SORRY FOR NO UPDATE ON THIS AND SUCH! **

**Kuromi: Poll on her profile. Please check it out if you haven't yet!**

**Kiyoko: -Nods- I wonder who the Queen is...**

**Stormy: Okay, so summer is coming within 1 1/2 month, BUT I know I've said in _The One Dream_ that I may update more often. Yes, that's true, kind of. Thing is, I might have to take up summer school like always or take a part time job, possibly both (hahaha, no.). That'll cut my story and drawing time like normal school days... High School life -sigh- So yeah, once I turn 16 in May, I might have to start taking a part time job during summer to help the family and such.**

**Everyone: Thanks for reading! R&amp;R and enjoy!**

_**~stormy003**_


	8. Sass Dungeons And The Trail of Sass

"So this is the castle where the Queen of Hearts live in...?" Kurapika mused to himself as he entered through the tree.

Though as he walked through the entrance and only exit back to the woods, it suddenly disappeared when he turned back to check on it. The 'girl' was expecting that and didn't mind the removal of the doorway I took out just a few seconds ago. When he looked back in front of him, however, he was immediately surrounded by bright green hedges that began forming a gigantic tall maze in the area.

"Oh great. These kinds of things," he muttered.

Don't complain and continue on with the story.

"Yeah, of course.. I just want to get this over with."

Kurapika, though I should continue to call him Alice at a random point of this story... Fourth wall breakage as usual!~ The 'girl' rolled his eyes at me and continued to make his way around the maze as I smirked and watched him go. Alice walked around mindlessly as he looked for an exit.

"You sound like a creep right now," Alice said, eventually stopping in his track before he was hit by a glob of paint.

Hehehe, sorry. Anyways, the paint... What happens next...? Right, right, decent sized globs of red paint continued to fly all over the place, staining the ground and parts of the green hedges. Failed and bored whistling could be heard on the other side of the tall plants, forcing the 'girl' to jump for a good view of what was going on.

'These guys are chimera ants! Are you nuts?' Kurapika hissed to no one in particular. 'I'm talking to you!'

Okay, fine, fine. Maybe I was a little bit low on characters when it came to the cards, but hey, it works right? Besides, I won't let anyone kill or eat you guys. They might throw a fit for being forced into this though. Just a small warning. CONTINUING ON!

"Please don't yell," said the 'girl,' holding his head in distress.

Fine. The ace, two, and three of clubs frantically and possibly irritably painted the white roses on the heart shaped trees with the red paint, rushing their work before they were caught painting midway.

"Hey, uhhh, need help or something?" Kurapika called, raising a brow as he sauntered over.

The three cards looked over at the 'girl' and stared for a bit before they continued painting the roses silently, probably thinking 'must not kill this human.' Kurapika only sighed and turned around only to feel something tap his shoulder from the back.

"Since you're here, you might as well start helping. You don't want to see the queen sass the heck out of you now, do you?" the two of clubs asked cautiously.

Kurapika's face cringed into a bothered expression as he slowly nodded and accepted the paint brush that was being shoved over to him from Colt, or the two or clubs.

The four managed to paint all the roses in front of them red before the trumpet that announced the queen's appearance came, red and the remaining black cards marching from the castle through the maze with spears shaped to match their suits in their hands.

"The queen is here," Leol, the ace of spades, said looking at the marching cards.

The ants groaned as they took and threw away the paint buckets and paint brushes from sight as all the rest of the cards appeared and stood in the shape of a heart. Kneeling on the ground and bowing down before nothing but a group of cards that began counting down upon order, the three waited for the queen as Killua suddenly ran over to the front with a trumpet in his hand. Kurapika watched the rabbit go as he lowered himself to the ground in the same position as the three cards next to him.

"Whoops, 'scuse me!" he snickered as he ran across and stepped on the Bombadier Beetle.

"Watch it!" he grunted.

Oh man, do they want to kill random people right now. Too bad my magical author powers are keeping them from doing so, harharhar! Killua began blowing on the gold trumpet in his hand, creating the worse noise you could possibly get from the instrument and.. air.

"Her Royal Majesty! Her Excellency! I wish I didn't have to say anything good about her! But whatever! Seriously, am I done yet? The Queen of Hearts!" the White Rabbit announced monotonously, crossing his arms and pointing an impolite thumb at the queen.

Bored sounding cheers were heard as Chrollo entered with a semi-big smile on his face, wear a giant puffy red and black dress, a small gold crown sitting atop his head. The king then appeared a second later with Killua taking a peek at the short octopus.

"Oh and the king too," he said, patting Ikalgo softly.

"Why am I the king?" he suddenly asked curiously.

His answer was.. never answered. Chrollo blinked as he noticed a half white and half red rose on one of the trees, walking over with a suspicious expression on his face.

"Has someone been painting the roses again?" he asked, picking the half painted rose off the tree. "I said don't miss a single spot on the rose if you plant the wrong kind. And also coat them evenly! This is not even at all!"

'Here comes the sass master...' Killua muttered as he sat down and crossed his legs.

"With a big paint brush, just having two layers would have been fine, but this is more than two! The paint is dripping all over and staining my plants! You also missed the center of the flowers despite how much paint you used," the queen complained, picking off the roses and flicking the extra paint off the flowers. "Please take them into the dungeon and have their lessons retaught."

'The lessons... This must be the nineteenth group to see that annoying video about life lessons by Chrollo...' one of the red cards whispered to another.

The ace, two, and three of spades were then dragged away much to their dismay, irritation written all over their faces. Chrollo then looked back down and rose a brow as he spotted Kurapika standing back up and brushing off his dress from the grass and paint.

"So... YOU'RE the queen?" Kurapika asked to confirm.

"Isn't it great?" the man in the giant dress asked brightly, a stupid looking smile plastered on his face. "I fit this role perfectly."

Kurapika remained quiet and refrained from answering such question. That slightly bothered the queen since he was expecting an answer from Alice and a positive sounding one too.

"How about a short game of croquet?" he suddenly suggested.

Oh god, Kurapika, accept the challen-

"No, thanks. I'm here to leave this world, not to spend more time here," the 'girl' replied looking over at Killua.

Bad choice. Chrollo will always manage to get what he wants...

"For rejecting the queen's offer, either this 'girl' is send to the sass dungeon or is going to have the trial of sass though he'll still be sent to the sass dungeon right after," the White Rabbit announced.

"You're kidding me..." Alice groaned.

I told you so. The red cards then walked up to the 'girl' and arrested her, dragging her off to the castle with the queen and king following behind the group. Being set in the trial room surrounded by more cards and animals, Kurapika sighed and rested his head into the palm of his left hand. Again, Killua began playing the trumpet again, getting irritated with the instrument he couldn't play.

"Forget this stupid thing!" he suddenly exclaimed, throwing it away. "The queen, members of the jury, the king, and everyone else in here."

As the boy opened his mouth to read the entire scroll he held in his hands, the queen decided to just cut to the chase.

"You don't need to read that thing," he said.

"Thank god.." Killua said in relief, also throwing the long paper away.

"We'll just... call in a few witnesses now.." Ikalgo suggested.

* * *

**Stormy: IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED THIS STORY! BUT IT'S ALREADY ALMOST DONE! WOW!**

**Kurapika: Apologies for such delays!**

**Leorio: Pol-**

**Chrollo: Poll on Stormy's profile! Do check it out.**

**Stormy: -Sweatdrops- Uhh, yeah.. Thanks for all the reviews! I haven't answered any guest reviews, oh crap, I am ridiculously forgetful... **

**TO THE FIRST GUEST, LOL. VERY, VERY, VERYYYYY LATE REPLY. MY MISTAKE! I don't listen to drama CDs loool so I actually never knew that xD And yes, I know this is very OOC, but this is really just for jokes and fun, HAHA! HOPEFULLY YOU SEE THIS AFTER WHAT 7 MONTHS? I AM TERRIBLY SORRY!**

**NEXT! Uhhhh.. Thanks for the review, Flying Butter xD Glad this could be as funny as you think it is, haha! And well, the Queen of Hearts is indeed Chrollo! xD**

**Again, I am so sorry for not updating this for so long and forgetting to reply guest reviews. I SWEAR I EVEN WROTE A NOTE FOR MYSELF TO REMEMBER TO DO SO, YET I STILL FORGOT! D:**

**Everyone: R&amp;R and enjoy!**


	9. The Fight Begins! Wait What?

The sass trial has begun with cards taking over the court room... Er... When did it start?

"About two years ago, when you got really really busy with school work and-" Killua said, but then I ended up cutting him off like this.

Okay thanks!~ Yes, yes I'm back got it. Not really. The white rabbit frowned. Sooo... Chrollo is the queen... The man in the puffy red and black dress waved at my like royalty and went back to resting his hands underneath his chin. Ooh.. Creepy. He even has make-up on... So prepared..

"Please, continued.. I want to get out of here.." Kurapika groaned.

He looked like he was about to rip his dress to pieces, knowing that the leader of the Phantom Troupe stood before him. In a dress. Fabulous looking dress... Hehehe, sorry not sorry..

"So... Kurapika.." Chrollo began.

Ahem.

"Err.."

"Alice," the blond corrected much to his dismay.

"Right, Alice... Are you ready to pay for the consequences?" he asked.

The 'girl' blinked and rose a brow in a suspicious manner. He was probably thinking, "Consequences? What consequences...?" ... I guess I was right.. Please don't kill me yet.. Kurapika turned back to the Queen of Hearts and sighed.

"What did I do to have you tell me I have something to pay?" he asked, leaning over a bit.

The group of known hunters like Ponzu and the Amori brothers and several Chimera quickly blocked him from leaning closer to the royal judges. The queen puffed out his cheeks and gave him a short blunt huff as he crossed his arms together. A faint tapping noise could be hear echoing in the giant room filled with cards.

"For not playing croquette with me!" he said childishly. "We were supposed to play croquette with those colorful flamingos and and and... porcupines like the movie!"

Kurapika groaned a little as he pinched the bridge of his nose. All he wanted to do was to get out as fast as possible and never look back at this event ever again. ... What? Don't look at me, I never said they needed to follow the movie or script completely now, did I?

Killua yawned a bit as he looked at his pocket watch for the time. Oh right! Killua, I never put the batteries into the watch so...

"I knew that since the beginning when the hands weren't moving or ticking..." he told me.

Oh.. Okay. Anyways, you know, the court continued for the most part of this chapter. Woot, fourth wall breakage!

"Can I have witnesses come up and prove this 'girl' of not being guilty?" Chrollo asked, urging Killua to hurry up and bring forth the characters who've seen Alice at least once in her journey.

Hold up, I need to take a deep breath after saying that. The court groaned a little as they waited.

"You're just stalling time..." Kurapika groaned as Gon was brought to the trial.

"Hm? What's going on here? Is there something important going on here?" the young boy asked, looking around.

He noticed the number of Chimera Ants in the court and frowned a bit. Don't worry, Gon, it's safe. He sighed in relief.

"So... Why am I here now?" he questioned. "IS THERE A PARTY?"

No, Gon... He really didn't have a clue. Well you see, Kurapika didn't play a game with Queen Chrollo here and got into trouble. His mouth formed into a small "O" shape as he nodded blankly.

"Kurapika is like that in general if he doesn't like someone though..." the March Hare defended. "But then he also left the tea party early... I wonder why..."

Kurapika sighed a little. It seemed as if the boy forgot Hisoka was with him during that time.

"Let's just bring in the next... witness," Ikalgo asked, waving a tentacle in a dismissive way.

A blue teapot was suddenly brought in by Neferpitou and nobody really knew why until Kurapika remembered about Satotz. The small dormouse yawned audibly in the pot, causing the audience to lean forward curiously.

"Twinkle twinkle little bat..." Satotz said, his voice echoing.

Chrollo blinked and tried to open the teapot, but Satotz popped out, frowned, and quickly closed it back.

"Please don't open it.. I've been in here for far too long, I don't want to see light just yet.." he said.

Kurapika sighed a little, wanting this to be over already. Soon, Zazan came over with Hisoka in front of her, the oink hair man just smirking away.

"... Trial closed," Chrollo immediately said.

Hisoka shrugged, but he still looked like he was watching Chrollo for an opening to attack him. Kurapika sighed in relief, not wanting to hear anything else at the moment and stepped away from the podium.

"I here still decide to bring this 'gil' to the the sass dungeon!" the Queen of Hearts exclaimed.

"What?" Kurapika groaned in dismay. "That's it. I'm leaving.."

Once he took a step away from his spot, a fight suddenly broke out with Hisoka attacking Chrollo first. I guess... he couldn't contain all his excitement...? The man's smirk grew into a creepy looking grin as he swung another kick at the Queen of Hearts, the 'oh-so-beautiful woman- quickly blocking his swift attacks. Hearing thuds sounding the room in a muffled fasion, Satotz decided to peek a look and watch.

"What's going on?" he asked, straight faced.

The Chesire Cat decided to make his appearance near by and watch the fight as well, everyone in the room gathering into a large tight group. Not long after, they all started to join into the fight in a brawling method. Killua seemed to be really pumped as he dove in to kick down several Chimeras and Phantom Troupe members. Meanwhile, Kurapika snuck away as best as he could.

"This must be it..." he told himself as he ran off and looked for the exit.

Several of the brawlers caught him running away and decided to gove chase after him as well, thus catching the attention of all in the court room.

"You with the scarlet eyes! Come back here!" he heard one of the Phantom troupes yell, but the 'girl wasn't too sure who it was.

He wasn't in the mood to fight, however, as the cluster of fighters and dust gave chase to him. Everything he went through in this entire event slowly played back as he ran to look for the exit quickly.

"Be a guide will you, damn it?!" Alice exclaimed, looking around.

Just retrace your steps and you'll be back in no time, hehehe.. He groaned as he continued running, seeing everyone he met along the way. The Zoldyck brothers were back out at sea, sailing around once again and even Kite joined in thw chase curiously without knowing what was going on. Leorio was just sailing across the waters on a giant mushroom, sleeping away. As Kurapika came to the very beginning of his journey, he spotted Netero.

"My lock..." he moaned in disappointment.

It looked like he was still upset with what happened when the 'girl' decided to bust his way through..

The group behind him was slowly gaining up on him, but as soon as he passed the doorway, he was back outiside on the grass, waking up from his sleep.

"I wasn't sleeping.." Alice defended.

Just pretend...

"Alice... Alice.. Wake up. We're going to head back inside the house now.." Stormy(Blizz) caled, gently shaking him.

The 'girl' sighed as he sat up and stretched.

"Okay, Nee-san," he said, stressing out his words.

"Please don't sound so disappointed. I know you had fun.. Heehee.." the author told him.

"Can I have my abilities back now..?"

"No."

**Stormy: I'M SOO SOOOO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! OMG AHHHHH! ANYWAYS THE LAST CHAPTER IS FINALLY HERE AND I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT! D:**

**Gon: YEAH! I enjoyed it!**

**Kurapika: I didn't.. -sighs-**

**Kuromi: Aw, it wasn't toooo bad, ALICE. -mocking him-**

**Kiyoko: Kuro...**

**Killua: Thank god, I don't have to wear something like that ever again..**

**Stormy: -Raises a brow- Oh really..?**

**Leorio: Mm..? Ha? -wakes up and looks around- Is it over..?**

**Stormy: -Nods- Anyways... ANSWERING REVIEWS NOW!**

**To Yinyang555- Hahaha, I'm glad you enjoyed this story! Oh man, I appreciate your review on this xD**

**To guest- I think Flying Butter, but I may be COMPLETELY TOO LATE FOR THIS SUGGESTION! OH NOESS SO SORRY! Chrollo is the real spelling, but Kuroro is more of the japanese way to pronounce it xD THANKS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING AND GLAD YOU LIKED IT!**

**To Eren Jegar- Of course and thank you so much!**

**Thank you so much for reading, guys and gals! R&amp;R AND ENJOY! SEE YOU NEXT TIMEEE!**

**~stormy003**


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